6 More Best of The Worst Uncomfortable Fan Art [That are SFW, Sort of]

   There are only two certainties in 21st century life: death and space-taxes. Ha ha, just kidding—there's really only one certainty: horribly disturbing fan art that only Russian men can get off to. Keeping in the mindset of the great, dark labyrinth known only as the internet, and since I really love traumatizing people more than Christian Bale loves snorting blow and beating women to death with his barbed ape-penis(allegedly), I have created a sequel to the horrendously-popular "Top 6 Best of The Worst Fan Art [That is still SFW, somehow]", where I, if you can remember, showcased some of the most shining examples of what a human mind can produce if you only introduce a little alcohol and a whole lot of repressed-sexuality.

If you have prostate issues, an enlarged pancreas, inflamed bowels, or any other disease that sounds rather icky, I'd really like it if you didn't continue reading, y'know, in case you leak green goop, or whatever, all over your chair; I would really prefer not to think about that, and just knowing that it won't happen while you read my article is comforting to me.

This is what my demographic probably looks like

If you are the sort of person that likes to live in a waking nightmare that not even Satan's non-existent ass could pull you out of, then, by all means, keep reading—no really, I'm sure it will be fun for both of us.

#6. Sexy Ivysaur
 by Pok3Rap3*

   And right out the gate we have something that has all the destructive potential of a serial child rapist with even less conscience. The person who drew "Sexy Ivysaur" no doubt took a few breaks in between drawing this fictitious children show character's ridiculous anthropomorphized breasts to ponder exactly how much duct tape and Vaseline he should put down on next week's grocery list. This is why when Adam asked for a "companion", God didn't make a sexy video game character out of his rib.

#5. Rabid Sonic 

by aDOGbitmeonce

   My adventures in the worst parts of the internet have taught me two things: future children are going to be as likely to watch an episode of the Teletubbies as they will be to commit horrible acts of genocide and that Sonic the Hedgehog is to creepy motherfuckers as Whitney Houston is to all of the drugs, ever. If you are a parent who has a child over the age of 10 and they own anything with a Sonic logo on it—well, I don't really know how to put this so I guess I'll just come out and say it—you have a rabbit fucker on your hands.

Liking Sonic in the 21st century is the same thing as wanting to bone a furry rodent—that's just the way it is now.

#4. "Graceful" Birdo 

by SeeingMommyintheShower2012

 

    When you've spent as much time as I have analyzing the worst of what the internet has to offer, you tend to not be easily surprised when you see a picture of Birdo showing off some side-boob—but this picture is different, somehow. The artist was proud of this creation, as if to say that he wanted his community to know just how good he is at creating a sexually-charged image of a bird/dinosaur from Mario. If I was a Criminal Profiler working for the FBI, and not just a vigilante Criminal Profiler like I really am, I would definitely put this artist on the top of my agency's watch-list.

Everything about this image screams that, not only is he profoundly satisfied with this creation, but that he wholeheartedly wants to strike again, maybe with something even more egregious and perverse. Notice how he signed and dated the bottom of this piece; in my business we call that a "calling card". He is absolutely planning to commit another atrocious act of terrible fan art and, when he does, I can guarantee that I'll be there, ready to show it off to you.

#3. Crazy Red, Tom Nook, Creeper, & Enderman

by howdoIshotRAPE

   This artist is truly exceptional at the art of the uncomfortable. Somehow he not only found a way to make Animal Crossing characters—notable only for their severe lack of sexuality—impossible to look at again without tearing-up, but also Minecraft characters. Minecraft! Y'know, the game where everyone and everything is made out of blocks? Yeah, that game. This person actually found a way to imagine geometrical objects in a sexual way. Once again, internet, you have bested me. I now completely understand that you are capable of raping anything.

#2. Pregnant Invader Zim

by Penishands 2011

   The reason why serial-fan-art-creators decide to draw their victims pregnant has always eluded me. Do they do it for the thrill? Or maybe they just want to imagine themselves actively impregnating their favorite fantasy characters. What ever the case may be, one thing is absolutely for sure: Penishands 2011 is a sick, sick bastard that deserves to be fed to a Sarlacc pit made completely out of erect penises.

Actually, no—he'd probably enjoy it too much.

...A Sarlacc pit made out of vaginas.

#1. My Pregnant Little Pony

by starin@ur_children

    Okay, okay, I'll admit that now I'm cheating a little bit. The very second that someone decided to create a new children's show with little girls drawn as anthropomorphic ponies, the internet trembled, quaked and released all of it's darkest intentions in a flurry of pedophilia-based bile; on that terrible day, the internet grew even stronger. Because of this new, demonic presence on the web, a simple Google image search is now riddled with horrific images of fan/pedophile-drawn ponies that just ten years ago would have destroyed the reputation of any normal person on this planet. But these days, the game has changed. Now anyone who has the primal urge to jack it to some ponies can have his disgusting hunger sated.

But to those who are fearful of what this means for humanity, do not worry, my Brony horde; it's just for fun.

*The names have been changed to protect the individual artists from social ostracism and/or probable execution by firing squad.

Top 6 Best of the Worst Uncomfortable Fan Art (That is still SFW, somehow)

   Imagining the internet as a representation of the human mind, we could establish that websites like Facebook are probably the ego and that websites like 4chan are most likely the id. What’s more interesting, though, is if we imagine that the internet is a representation of a batshit insane mind. Actually, that would explain quite a bit about the internet. It has been said before that the internet as a whole is 83.5% porn; personally, I feel like that is a pretty decent representation of the average human mind. What isn’t so easily explainable, however, is the amount of disturbing and uncomfortable imagery that the web unleashes upon our eyes on a daily basis. One thing’s for sure, if the internet is an example of humanity’s brain than we are all pretty fucked up.

 #6 - Human Kirby
by goatfucker117*

 

   The best part of this piece is how ridiculously fat human Kirby is shown to be. Seriously though, how difficult is it to draw Kirby? It’s a fucking geometrical circle with a smiley face. It’s harder to draw a cartoonish version of my testicles with a Crayola. We have to give credit to this “artist” for this creative endeavor. If I could have had a microphone taped to the wall in this artist’s studio I would imagine it to sound something like this:

Kirby artist: “Pink ball with eyes and a mouth, you say? Fuck that noise. The fat, pink and bald man look is much truer to the aesthetic soul of Kirby.”

Random bystander: “Uh, yeah sure. Whatever. Wait, is that a fucking penguin?”

Kirby artist: “What, you think the penguin doesn’t make sense? Fuck you, buddy.”

 #5 - Sonic the Uncomfortable Hedgehog
by sexual_c0nfus1on

   Once in a while a picture on the internet comes along that is so godamn uncomfortable it makes you wish that you were born in a generation before the advent of computers. This here is one of those pictures. Apparently Sonic the Hedgehog, a character that most of us grew up with, has decided to take an extra liking to his sidekick – who is most notably an underage boy-fox hybrid – Tails. I guess Sonic needs some sort of stress relief after his last dozen or so games have been unfit for even homeless schizophrenic retards to play.

All I’m saying is that if any alien civilization happens to see this shit we’d better appreciate our existence while it lasts.

#4 - Pregnant Dawn
 by ouchmychildhood

   I am so sorry for this. No really, I wish I didn’t have to show you this horrible image. If you were a young child I’m sure this would be traumatizing enough to send you over the edge to Jeffrey Dahmer-land.

On the bright side, this could also function as a decent psych test. Do you find yourself turned on by this image? If so, congratulations! You are a sociopathic pedophile!

#3 - Sexy Pony
 by frustratedfurryOMEGA666

fru

   It’s bad enough when a group of 16 and older males decide that your children’s TV show amuses them so much that they are willing to spend actual increments of their life posting “ironic” videos and pictures of it to the internet. What’s worse is when they decide to draw anthropomorphic sexually suggestive pictures of said children’s characters to the internet. Unlike the Pregnant Dawn picture above, they’re actually attempting to destroy the childhood of kids who haven’t grown old enough to destroy it for themselves. Bravo, humanity. Brav-fucking-o.

#2 - Freudian Peach
 by whydidntmommyholdme

 

   If Freud was still alive this would give him a fucking heart attack. There is so much shit in this picture that encourages the idea that the artist was putting Peach in a very motherly role in this image. Notice the baby sized Mario next to a powerful, bare chested and feminine Peach. The “1-up” panties definitely refer to the act of sexual intercourse, and well, I’m feeling pretty dirty right now.

*Ahem* I think it’s time for the last, and arguably the worst, abomination….

#1 - Minnie Mouse 
by waltdisneyfan69

Oh, come the fuck on internet. Why would you even draw a sexually suggestive Minnie Mouse? This has got to be some sort of demented ADHD that only affects the internet. Which is worse, the person who would decide to position this as real art or the person who gets enticed by the sexuality of this picture? Are we even supposed to be turned on by a caricature of a baby mouse?

I’m going to go take a fucking shower.

For even more uncomfortable fan art click here 

*The names have been changed to protect the individual artists from social ostracism and/or probable execution by firing squad.